It’s funny how you can go long periods without feeling inspired to create something, or you tried but it just wasn’t enough and then suddenly one life event (or a combination of a few) can flip on the switch and flood the room with light. A thousand ideas have been rolling through my head to write about, but they’re all half finished, except this one.

Do we ever stop feeling for someone we have lost? Not those who have died, but I am referring to those lovers, friends, crushes, family etc. who we loved or cared for in some form or rather whom we no longer keep in touch with. Society seems to have placed this concept that once they’re out of your life, you’re to move on and you won’t have feelings for them anymore. (And for a good reason, so we don’t obsess and keep ourselves drowning in the pain of their rejection)

But I disagree. I don’t think we ever stop loving or caring for someone. Perhaps the feelings fade to a different intensity or even to a different type of feeling, say from romantic love to a respect for that person. Love – whatever form of it – does not die. It stays with us, perhaps it hides for a while and doesn’t come around until a certain memory plays in our head or we are reminded of that person some way or other. Love can be mixed with other feelings that may take over for awhile, but ultimately I can say I care for most people I have loved in a sense; be it friends, past lovers or high school flings.

As there is for everything, there are exceptions. Those toxic friendships/relationships that impacted our lives so negatively that we cannot work on seeing past the anger and hurt they caused. Even still. I don’t think love truly dies. It just changes in how it fits into your life.

When you see an ex lover, old feelings come rushing back more often than not. But does that mean you still love them in the sense that you must be together or act on it? No. You can outgrow a love, it no longer has the same value to you but it still has a small space in your heart. You can look back at it and smile that it happened.

Now, what about those loves that just keep coming back that you cannot stop thinking about? The person who pops into you head daily despite not even being in touch with them? That is a kind of love you have not yet outgrown. Perhaps you are in the midst of transitioning or perhaps it is a love that is not ready to be just a space in your heart…

Photo by Linh Pham on Unsplash